manifest_now (manifest_now) wrote in happy_news,

from author Rob Breszny

How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings*
(which is available at

Here's an excerpt:

Welcome to the PRONOIA NEWS NETWORK. Here's the news.

The world has become dramatically more peaceful since 1992, according
to the non-partisan Human Security Report. Wars, coup d'etats, and acts
of genocide have declined by 40 percent. Weapons sales have dropped
33 percent during the same time, and the number of refugees has
decreased by 45 percent.

The cause of these developments is the unprecedented upsurge of
international activism since the end of the Cold War, spearheaded by the
United Nations.

Elsewhere, life extension researchers now believe that there is no absolute
limit to the human life span. The average life expectancy is 30 years more
than it was a century ago, and is steadily climbing.

Literacy and education levels are rising steadily all over the globe. Since
1970, the percentage of students going to secondary school has more
than doubled.

The World Health Organization reports that in the next 24 hours, 200
million people will make love on this planet, as they do every day of every
year. Experts estimate that the orgasmic energy generated during a single
rotation of the planet could, if harnessed, provide enough power to light a
medium-sized city for a month.

Briefly, here's a look at the rest of the top stories.

Accelerating rates of intermarriage are helping to dissipate ethnic and
religious strife worldwide.

Acreage devoted to organic farming is rapidly increasing.

Death rates from cancer are shrinking.

Child abduction by strangers has dropped precipitously.

In 60 years, there hasn't been a lower birth rate among teenage girls than
there is now.

The number of America's black elected officials has sextupled since 1970.

In recent years, the rivers and bays of New York City have been almost
completely cleansed of raw sewage and industrial pollution.

Vast supplies of frozen natural gas lie beneath the oceans, harboring
more potential energy for human use than all of the world's oil reserves,
and could be mined with the right technology.

If forced to decide between having a bigger penis and living in a world
where there was no war, 90 percent of all men would pick universal

You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one
on Earth is any farther removed than your 50th cousin.

The world's largest private bank, Citigroup, has agreed to stop financing
projects that damage sensitive ecosystems.

The giant timber company, Congolaise Industrielle des Bois, voluntarily
agreed to stop cutting down trees in a virgin rain forest in the Congo.

Every second the sun generously transforms four million tons of itself into
energy and bestows it on us free of charge.

With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many seahorse
colonies perform a dance to the sun.

Most HMO executives now believe prayer and meditation can expedite the
healing process.

Each of the 50 trillion cells in your body can be considered a sentient
being in its own right, and they all act together as a community,
performing an ongoing act of prodigious collaboration.

A survey of a thousand poets suggests that the five most beautiful words
in the English language are "epiphany," "undulates," "luminous,"
"crucible," and "melody."

Finally in the news, biologists have proved that with each breath, you take
into your body 10 sextillion atoms, and—owing to the wind's ceaseless
circulation—over a year's time you have intimate relations with oxygen
molecules that have been exhaled by everyone who has ever lived,
including Joan of Arc, Gengis Khan, Cleopatra, and Malcolm X.

You have been tuned to PNN, the Pronoia News Network. Our report has
been brought to you by the state of mind that the poet John Keats
enjoyed when he said, "If something is not beautiful, it is probably not
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